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It’s no wonder that Christians tend to freak out about dating.And it’s no wonder we’re dealing with the highest numbers of single men and women we’ve EVER had in our country.
We hardly talk about it, and then when we do it’s all fire and brimstone freaking us out about choosing the wrong person to marry and waving the divorce rates over our heads. It’s a culture that embraces pleasure and passion as the foundation of relationship.
First you’ll hear Stephen Dubner interview Alli Reed, a comedy writer living in Los Angeles, who conducted an experiment of sorts on Ok Cupid: So she created a fake profile for a woman she called “Aaron Carter Fan” (Aaron Carter, for the uninitiated, is the younger brother of a Backstreet Boy.) Reed loaded her profile with despicable traits (see the whole list below) but used photos of a model friend. (For more, see Reed’s article “Four Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever.“) Oyer hadn’t thought much about online dating until he re-entered the dating scene himself after a long absence and was struck by the parallels between the dating markets and labor markets. Vogt opened up his Ok Cupid profile to let Oyer dissect and, theoretically, improve it.
If only people approached dating like an economist, he thought, they’d be better off. You’ll hear what Vogt had done right, what Oyer thinks was wrong, and what happens when you update your profile, economist-style. All my Jewish friends talk about being under pressure from mum to meet a good Jewish boy or girl, but they don’t happen to be everywhere, but they’re all over J-Date.
Tell her the plans in advance and don’t make last minute changes. It doesn’t have to be awkward, it might even appear sweet. Don’t directly snuggle next to her, you’ll freak her out. The last thing she wants is to know how your ex-girlfriend was and what all you did together. Start with basic compliments and towards the end you can tell her how you love the way she thinks or that she’s really smart, etc; compliments more rooted to her personality. I’m sure she’ll like it if you pull doors and seats for her.
Girls are always a little wary of the guy they are going out with. It’ll make her super uncomfortable and she might even start comparing herself to that girl. It’s a beginning of a new book, not just another chapter. Guide her when you’re walking through a particular crowded space.Finally, the economist Justin Wolfers points out one of the most revolutionary benefits of online dating — finding matches in traditionally “thin” markets: WOLFERS: So I do think it’s a really big deal for young gay and lesbian men and women in otherwise homophobic areas. And I imagine this is true in other ethnic communities.And certainly there are, it’s enormously easy to match on very, very specific sexual preferences.But the truth is, God never intended us to live in fear, but rather in faith.