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Back when I was doing the personals, I'd say the average was a week and a half. Do you really want to exchange numbers with someone you do not know?
Fortunately, I didn't have any extreme negative personal encounters, but I'm sure this was partly because I was cautious.
By that time, I know whether or not we should meet and so does he usually.......Checking first to see if there is reason to chat on the phone is a good idea in my oppinion.Also, how many of us have got the the exchange numbers stage only to find out that the other person thinks it is fine to call morning, noon and night.I guess the longest time would be a couple of months.
Normally, I would say a few weeks of email and IM before talking on the phone is fairly standard for me.
Naturally, there's a lot to be conveyed through voice tonality, but if they are offering prompt e-mail responses, I'd not get discouraged. Nothing turns me off faster than the first message that reads "Here is my phone number call me ok". First we talk as friends though messages (if we are lucky) we will know when to start the phone calls.