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22-Feb-2017 04:07

I'm currently waiting for the results of a CT scan and to be honest, I don't give it a second thought, I'll face it if or when I have to but for now I'm enjoying my life.

I'm in no position to advise though as I'm not where you are now. My treatment starts next week, two weeks of radiotherapy which will just target my neck and head as that¿s where I get most of my pain.

I read that crying is the only way to release stress hormones - they come out in your tears - don't know if that's really true or not - but I use that as my excuse when I bawl cos Ian's a lovely man who should have lived to a ripe old age and it's just not fair...

Hi alichap001You are made of tougher stuff than me i sobbed my way through my first chemo-that was when they told me it had spread.

There arein the neck, base of the skull, ribs, pelvis and spine as well as the brain.

They tell me that they can¿t do much to help me apart from some radiotherapy to help the pain in my neck then some pills which may help a bit but do have some side effects.

Hello Ali, my hubby has been much the same as you and did not bresk down initally, 1st March he had a check up having has stomach cancer 2 years ago, he was fit and strong and given the all clear on the 1st March, 3 weeks later we were sat in front of the consultant telling us that there was nothing they could do for him, whilst we broke down around him he remained calm and strong, bless him, but as the cancer has really taken hold he has now become emotional and at times tearful, I suspect that it affects everyone differently.

Or maybe it¿s just the way I am, which is strange to me as I enjoy my life and do not want to have it ended so soon.

Ian just wants to get on with these last few weeks of chemo and deal with the next bit then and only then.

Don't underestimate the power of black humor - you say you make jokes and laugh about it - one or two people were very taken aback by my saying that Ian's colon cancer in his lungs didn't surprise me, I knew he'd always talked s.....t (the site will probably bleep that but I think you'll get my drift!

He's still fighting but is soon to end chemo with no other options apparently available.

We have yet to explore that scenario more deeply with the oncologist.Any It¿s been two weeks now since I was told, and to be honest I can¿t believe how well I have taken this. I have tried to put myself in a venerable mentality but I just can¿t seem to break down.I don¿t know if I¿m just trying to be strong for my partner and my family and friend¿s. In no way am I in denial, I have read and looked up everything I can. I did find hard to tell my family and close friends. Maybe I¿m just not the type to fall apart but I¿m worried that maybe it will hit me like a tonne of bricks when I least expect it. I can't give any advice about how you'll feel in the future once it hits home, you could be in understandable shock and it's probably your defence mechanism kicking in at the moment but no doubt someone else will come on and give you some advice how to cope with the devastating news, I just wanted to reply to your post and just support you a bit.I think that is partly why i come on here because it can feel like you are living two lives at the same time-on the one hand -school run,walk the dog ,make the tea,do the shopping on the other scans ,doctors visits,drugs ,side effects of drugs things that you are unable to do.



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