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At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.
Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.
It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.
I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.
For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.
This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.