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Hell is real, it is eternal, there are no second changes once you arrive there. Many of the saints have seen hell (Saint Faustina for one).The doctrine of purgatory is a blessing, however, no one should shoot for purgatory, if they miss . I just read a book called "Twenty-three Minutes in Hell," which was very informative from a non-Catholic perspective.Yesterday I had a discussion with brothers of my parish during our meeting and I asked if they believe non-christians can be saved.They argue that those who reject jesus may have done so because they do not have enough knowledge of him as we christians have. The catechism lays out the answer in a detailed but concise manner.It enunciates the idea of presumption, which is a a gravely evil condition.Believing this poses a significant danger of ultimate damnation.Well, since the first part of your message was addressed pretty well, I'll address the second.Jesus said he wishes everyone to be saved, however, that free will thing can affect your eternal destiny.
Some also say that god is so loving that he can not put any of his children in hell. While invincible ignorance is possible, it is becoming more and more likely that people have heard of Jesus especially with global communication.
Some also say that god is so loving that he can not put any of his children in hell. Anyone who believes the idea put forth in the second to last is ignoring reality.