United kingdom dating and marriage culture
And while the land of Sex and the City is tough for single women seeking college-educated men, it’s hardly the worst.Fort Lauderdale has 71 percent more female college grads than male between ages 22-29, followed by Providence, which has 60 percent more.His data provides concrete, liberating evidence that we should stop over-analyzing the nonsense minutiae of modern dating.“There are all these dating books that say how quickly you call or text is really going to determine whether you end up with Mr. If you just think about it intellectually, it's stupid,” he tells me (to my glee).“The idea that waiting an extra 12 hours makes the difference between being with Mr.Right forever and not, I mean it just doesn’t make sense, right?This conclusion that people should lay off of feminism as the culprit for hook-up culture is not the focus of Date-Onomics, but a rewarding one for anyone tired of hand-wringing about whether feminism “hurts” women.Birger focuses on the admittedly (by his own account) limited college-educated set and adroitly outlines that the disparity has been building for decades, but without us ever fully recognizing its influence.
But despite these stark numbers and sobering (yet familiar) stories, the joy of reading Date-Onomics comes, in part, from the fact there is something so satisfying in knowing you’re a bit fucked, but it’s not your fault.They’re married because they took fate into their own hands—which is all the more needed when the numbers are so against you.In seven of the couples, the woman pursued the men.“It’s decisive women who, maybe, odds-wise are more likely to get the guy,” Birger tells me. They would rather not take their chance than put themselves out there and get rejected.”There were moments when Date-Onomics is initially disheartening—especially if you’re a 25-year-old woman who takes comfort fantasizing the perfect guy is out there and you just haven’t found him yet.“For a college-educated woman who puts an extremely high-priority on getting married to a college-educated man, she may be better off strategically—though not necessarily romantically—getting married young to Mr. But, as occurred so many times reading Date-Onomics, I ultimately felt liberated, fear replaced by the realization that driving yourself crazy to find some mystical “best”—and, in turn, to attract that mystical “best”—was a waste.If we assume these women will want to marry college-educated men—a desire that Birger convincingly argues should and will change—there’s simply not enough men to make all those trips down the aisle a reality.
Recent debates about dating and sex have been seriously lacking in data.The gap’s impact on dating for straight, single women is exacerbated, Birger explains, because men with college degrees are consciously or subconsciously aware that they are in scarce supply.They take advantage of their rarefied status by holding off settling down and enjoying the market of riches—and Birger’s book includes colorful anecdotes.It’s not a strategic problem, it’s a demographic problem.”In fact, the dating advice that is offered up in Date-Onomics runs refreshingly against the courtship narratives that are most restrictive for women.